Choice and Consequence.
Choice and Consequence
In life, there is no “answer.” There’s only choice and consequence. We’ve all lain awake in bed at night ruminating wondering if we’ve done the right thing. Wondering if life would be better if we had done A instead of B. Wishing for clarity, wishing for an owner’s manual to life. Even thinking that if we were a bit smarter or a bit more charitable, we could then see more clearly what it is we should do or say. However, I reject the illusion of neat resolutions, or perfect clarity. The idea of the right answer implies finality. Like a destination. Whereas choice implies motion, the ongoing act of being human. The truth is, meaning isn’t handed to us, but forged through action in perpetuity. This makes me wonder if life isn’t meant to be understood, but rather lived, observed, and then passed on. “Evolution of the human experience.”
Every choice big and small has led you to this very moment. Stop to consider that for a second. Every choice you have ever made has led you here. Every step taken, every hand you shook, every hug that you’ve embraced. Every tear shed, every bowed head, and every final goodbye. They have all led you here, to the present. Where consequence whispers truth in the quiet. Choice is the author of life, and consequence is the editor. There are times in life when the path is straight and smooth. During these times it’s easy to think you’ve “figured it out.” This is folly, for eventually you will find yourself at a crossroads. The proverbial fork in the road. Here you will find that even indecision is a choice that can shape an outcome. Time slows for no one, and even inaction has consequences, and in my experience inaction leads to undesirable outcomes. So I beg, take control. You may misstep, but at least you played a role and rejected victimhood. I once was faced with a choice between comfort or growth. I decided to stay still and cower. Well, life is always moving so the choice was made for me. I lost everything that I worked so hard for. Things that shaped the very being that I had become. I hadn’t lost control, but rather given it away. For those of you who read the things that I write, you have a special place in my heart, I care for you. My hope is that you learn from my mistakes. I don’t want you to explore the headspace that I am in. It’s a dark and lonely place. Even light seems bleak here. Consider my words, for they are more valuable than my actions.
Consequence whispers to us the truth.
Our morals come from many different media. At the beginning of life, they are gleaned from our parents. They literally begin to teach us right from wrong directly. As we grow, we watch them, we see how certain things may or may not work out for them. We take their consequences and twist them into some moral compass. Next, there’s faith. We all have it, the belief that there is something bigger than us worth working towards. For me that thing is God. For others, it may be humanitarianism, or it may be wealth, or education. Some value altruism, some value the preservation of self, but we all value something that guides our actions. Then there’s consequence. Consequences are just lessons in retrospect. “Man, I wish I hadn’t done or said that.” Or “damn, if only I’d have done that differently.” Consequences are the lessons delivered by the choices made in life. I posit that these lessons couldn’t have been learned any other way and instill new moral directives into our heart and mind.
“Heart and mind.” The internal battle. When faced with difficult choices our heart and mind are at conflict. We’re faced with emotional comfort or logical conclusions. The truth is: we need both. If we choose only with our heart we can be led to paths of codependency and low self worth. The path of only choosing with our mind leads to isolation and inflated sense of self. Both paths lead to self sabotage and destruction. Choose instead to let your heart inform your mind, and your mind to discipline your heart. This can bring balance to the internal struggle. In the past, I was guided by my heart only, which led to addiction, poverty, and low self worth. I did a 180 and defaulted all decisions to the logical point of view. This led me to be cold, distant, and mistrusting of love, but came with an ego disguised as self worth. This was a farce, and I’ve since realized ego is not only misinformed but also a hindrance to self growth and spiritual evolution. Not to mention, ego blocks out our loved ones and keeps them at arm's length. There must be balance between the heart and mind. It’s tricky business, and it takes a certain level of humility.
It is Human tendency to search for the “why” that ties it all together. We find comfort in finality. A bow tied neatly, but the truth is: the only thing that stays the same is the fact that everything is constantly changing. Perhaps there’s wisdom in that, wisdom isn’t the confrontation of certainty, but rather being comfortable within uncertainty. We may be able to deduce likely outcomes by referring to past consequences. There is definitely value in that. However, we can’t truly know the value of an outcome until we have first acted.
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
- Lucius Seneca
We can spend all of our time wondering what if? How come? What’s next? It’s important to remember, in life, there’s no “answer,” there’s only choice and consequence. Maybe the goal in life isn’t to seek only the right answer, but to move forward into moral conviction and to seek revival in our own wrongdoing. Take account of those things, own them, and choose to take a path less traveled. A path where we realize that we are not infallible, we are flawed and limited. But if we pay attention we can transcend the transgressions we have committed in the past and take the next step to redemption. Life is not a problem to be solved, it’s a story still being written. The author is choice, and consequence is the turning of the page.